DIX + Arsenal

Arsenal is now Arse

2007-06-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

As always, David Hershy
sums it up best over at Deadspin.

At least Barca's going to be nigh unbeatable in Spain for the next couple of years.

I propose that Henry will now forever be known as a "nothing master."

A sorry end to 2006

2006-12-30T11:11:00.000-08:00

'Twas the last game of the calender year for the Gunners. The field was shit and, funny enough, so was Arsenal. The announcer said he hadn't seen Arsenal play that bad in a long, long time. I have to agree.

Arsenal went down 1-0 to Sheffield United. Think back with me, if you will, to last summer ... PGE Park, Sheffield United tied the Portland Timbers. Same Sheffield United. Ouch.

Post-match

2006-12-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

A quality result for the Gunners. Would have been nice to hang on to that lead and take a point. Given the fact that Chelsea struck woodwork 3 times, I think we'll take it.

John woke up and got to the match to watch the final 10 minutes, which included some of the most exciting stuff I've seen in sport. He emerged just after hearing my exhuberent yell for Flamini's goal. Any American who says football lacks the excitement of the NFL and NBA should ask John about the 15 minutes after he came out of his room on this Sunday. We're talking heart-attack good.

In the post-game debrief, the announcer described Essien's goal as a "thunderbomb." I like it. I think I'll add it to my day-to-day vocabulary.

"That's all the time we have for now. This has been the beautiful game ..."

94:00

2006-12-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

- Lehmann misses a ball in another one of his gaffes. Lampard gets to it, puts a foot to it. The ball caroms off of the inside of the post and rolls 'cross the goal mouth. How that did not go in is absolutely beyond me.

- Final whistle. Breath.

92:00

2006-12-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

- Lampard's corner goes down in the box. Essien put a foot to it and it hammered off of the woodwork. Essien looks dumbfounded as to how it didn't go in. He and I are in the same boat.

- Adebayor is reminding of Darius Miles. That's not a good thing.

85:00

2006-12-10T09:45:00.000-08:00

- INCREDIBLE! Michael Essien just struck one of the most incredible balls I've ever seen. Probably 38 yards out. Just incredible. Beat Lehmann, kissed the post and went in then net.

- "An absolutely world class goal by Essien, would have beaten any keeper in the world."

79:00

2006-12-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

- There's a reason they call soccer the beautiful game. My blood is boiling. Arsenal just put together one of the more impressive build-ups you're ever going to see. Which Arsenal does on a regular basis, but on this occasion they scored. Absolutely beautiful! Joga bonito.

- GOAL! Flamini. Arsenal have only scored first in 6 of their 15 Premiership matches this season. They won all 6.

70:00

2006-12-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

- Senderos, as predicted, cost Arsenal dearly. A terrible ball intercepted by Robben. Luckily Lehmann was there to stop the ball. Gilberto's there to stop Drogba's rebound. It's Lehmann again on Lampard's rebound. And again on Lampard's rebound. Chelsea should have done better.

69:00

2006-12-10T09:30:00.000-08:00

- Add Michael Essien to the list of people I wouldn't mess with. The stare down he just gave the linesman would make an average man wet himself.

66:00

2006-12-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

- Mourinho just made two changes. Off are Gerami and Shevchenko. On are Wright-Phillips and Robben. The goal is obviously attack by way of the wing. It worked against ManU a couple weeks ago.

64:00 (OH MY!)

2006-12-10T09:23:00.000-08:00

- Drogba takes a dive in the box. No call. He gets up, furious. Play moves on. Lehmann drills him. Drogba gets up and nails him back. The referees convene. Here come the cards ...

- Lehmann ... YELLOW!

- Drogba ... YELLOW!

- "On another day, with another referee, both men could have seen red."

59:00

2006-12-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

- The announced just laughed out loud at Gerami's free kick attempt for Chelsea. It was quite pathetic. Funny too because the Blues took their sweet time with the set up. Loads of sound and fury signifying nothing.

- It was confirmed at half that Drogba was actually not cautioned in the first. I'm not quite sure how this works. Drogba seemed to have a yellow card held above his head after being quite a wanker to the official. It's called dissent and yes, you can card for it.

Half

2006-12-10T08:49:00.000-08:00

- "Electrifying pace and atmosphere."

- "Chelsea's had the better chances, but Wenger will be the happier manager coming off at half."

- Half-time list of people I would not mess with (in this order): Jens Lehmann (seriously, dude's crazy). Jose Mourinho (got poison?). John Terry (scrapper). Frank Lampard (knasty streak in this bloke).

43:00

2006-12-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

- Mourinho reminds me of Valdimir Putin. The Chelsea bosses look so sinister.

- Adebayor's had better hair days.

37:00

2006-12-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

- Arsenal are winning the 50/50 balls. They're outhustling Chelsea and appear sharper. Despite that, Chelsea still manages chances; their skill level is unbelievable.

- Eboue left Cole's jock on the pitch a minute ago. Eboue lacks the composure to finish his runs but looks like complete class when he's dribbling in.

- Lehmann should've cost Arsenal a goal with his latest gaffe. He missed a corner and was flailing around like a fish out of water (at the penalty spot, no less) while Essien hammered one on goal. Lucky for the Gunners, Hleb cleared the ball off the line.

25:00

2006-12-10T08:26:00.000-08:00

- The game is getting heated! Tensions are high. Cole's been booked. Drogba's been booked. Drogba just took a world of a dive and the Chelsea players got hot when there wasn't a caution. Slow-motion replay makes the incident look laughable.

- The left side of the Arsenal lineup lacks any composure whatsoever. Senderos in defence is going to cost the Gunners a goal if he's not careful. He completely wiffed on a ball a bit ago that was almost pure trouble.

- Arsenal have put together a few threatening attacks recently, but the Blues have clearly had more and better chances.

- The Chelsea counterattack will make your heart race.

15:00

2006-12-10T08:17:00.000-08:00

- Say what you want about Chelsea, when they're clicking they exhibit beautiful bits of skill.

- "No need to mention his name, the crowd will tell you when Ashley Cole has the ball." Every time Cole touches the ball, the Arsenal supporters boo feverishly. The Chelsea supporters respond, vigorously. The result is a deafening roar.

- Shevchenko and Ballack have both hit beautiful strikes from 30+ in the last two minutes. Ballack's beat Lehmann, but went wide.

- Lehmann looks shaky, as usual. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Lampard just rang the post.

Big day ...

2006-12-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

This blog's been abandoned for a bit. Here's an attempt at a revival.

This morning is the big Arsenal-Chelsea game. They just said that the Blues haven't suffered defeat at home since February of 2004, when they were beaten by Arsenal.

The Gunners find themselves 10 points down to Chelsea in the standings and a seemingly insurmountable 19 points down to the class of the league, ManU. But ManU is an afterthought on this morning. It's red-blue, Gunners-Blues, Arsenal-Chelsea.

The game will no doubt be an uphill battle. I'd have said that no matter what the lineups. As it is, Arsenal's starting lineup is void of William Gallas, Kolo Toure, Tomas Rosicky, and the one and only Thierry Henry. Read that last sentence again. That's some real firepower sitting on the bench. I'm a bit surprised to see that Baptista and Walcott have both been left out of the lineup. I'm sure The Beast will make an appearance 'fore the end of the game though.

This marks Ashley Cole's first game against his old mates. He's touched the ball once and the already boisterous crowd swelled with excitement. Looking forward to hearing the increased rigor every time does something.

Off to watch the match. Go Gunners!

Tightening the Squeeze on ManU

2006-11-14T20:08:00.000-08:00

Sunday's win over Liverpool brought Arsenal within eight points of Premiership leader Manchester United. The Gunners' 3-0 victory at Emirates Stadium crushed Liverpool's chances at title contention. Arsenal will look for their seventh Premiership win Saturday at home against Newcastle.

Contenders!

2006-10-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

After a midweek loss to CSKA Moscow in the Champions League (1-0, more on that later), the Gunners came out and made an emphatic statement in the Premiership this morning. Our boy Henry netted two en route to a 4-0 drubbing of top-level newcomers Reading. Of note is how much Chelsea and ManU struggled in their trips to Reading earlier this season. Arsenal did not experience similar struggles as Henry's first tally came in the first minute of the match!

With the win, Arsenal is now in third place in the Premiership, two points off the pace (we've actually played one less game than most of the top teams and find ourselves 5 points down, so I'm extrapolating a bit). Things are looking good. The Gunners are peaking and the analysts are starting to speak of them as a legitimate trophy contender.

Now to the Champions League (Double anyone?). The Gunners lost the midweek matchup in Moscow after a late goal by Henry was called back for a handball. The problem with that is that there was, in fact, no handball at all. Henry was livid. Wenger was livid. Life goes on. The Gunners are still in decent shape to make the knockout phase of the tournament.

Things are looking bright. Now where's that little Frenchie Ribery?

Saturday!

2006-10-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

Arsenal wins 3-0 at home against Watford. An unexciting match in all. An own goal to compliment tallies by Adebayor and Henry. Next up: Champions Leage on Wednesday.

In other news: Frank Ribery ... you know him, the quick little French midfielder with the mark on his face ... Frank has said he wants to join Arsenal. This cannot be a bad thing.

Morning musings

2006-10-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

A look at the current table shows Arsenal in a good position. With one less game played than all of the other formidable teams in the league, we're basically in third place behind (surpirse!) Chelski and ManU. We've finally started playing more like Champions and less like, well, Liverpool. We've short break now for international fixtures and then we pick up the play with four games in ten days staring on the 14th.

So all is looking well. But the real reason for my posting is to share van Persie's second goal from Saturday's match; a truly beautiful strike:

Cheers!

Victory!

2006-09-30T11:54:00.000-07:00

The mini streak continued as Arsenal beat Charlton 2-1 today. Robin vanPersie was one shy of the hat trick in the victory. Arsenal was down by one early, but the dutchman secured the win when he took the lead himself shortly after the start of the second half. Go gunners.

Other games of note: Bolton beat Liverpool 2-0 (wow, Liverpool really sucks this year), stupid Boro lost to recently promoted Sheffield Utd. in injury time and Chelsea could only come away with a draw versus Aston Villa. This is good.

A hint of potential

2006-09-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

I apologize for neglecting the blog lately. You'll find the roster and the schedules have been updated.

Arsenal is currently ranked 11th in the Premiership. Leader Portsmouth has a 9 goal lead on the team, and Man U is only ahead by 8 points (see post below). The first matches of the season were rough, and the team experienced some upheaval. Arsene Wegner claimed it was a "World Cup hangover." Now with drama queen Cole gone, as well as Reyes, it seems Arsenal are playing better. France's Gallas may give the team some confidence.

Arsenal's first win of the term came without golden boy Henry and against formidable Manchester United. Arsenal handed Man U their first loss of the season, and on their own turf no less. C. Ronaldo's penchant for diving has always managed to make him look like an ass, and this time it helped Arsenal score a goal.

Perhaps Arsenal's luck has turned?

Arsenal have two Premiership matches coming up. Sheffield United should be a sure win, as long as Arsenal strikers turn their opportunities into goals. This is a skill the team seems to have learned only in the last week. Charlton may fight a little harder. Charlton's prerogative seems to be draws, and Arsenal has so far easily fallen into that trap. Perhaps they'll be able to avoid it next week.

VICTORY!!

2006-09-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

To catch us up to date: we beat ManU. Wenger seems to say that the World Cup had his team ragged and tired and that they are just now getting to know each other and getting in to playing shape. Personally, I don't much care what the reason is, but I'm delighted that we've hit form. Rosicky looked incredible in the game last Saturday. Our defense could still use some help (ManU should've scored a couple). Lehman is an absolute legend, as solidified by his late-game, finger-tip save that ought to be one of the better saves of the Premiership this season. Overall, a good match for the team.

It's exciting to finally see on the pitch what we've all known for far too long: that this team has the talent to beat anyone in the world if they just play to their abilities. We played without the best striker in the world on Saturday (who no doubt would've converted our first half penalty) and still beat table toppers ManU. That's got to say something. I can't say enough about the play of Rosicky. He says he's finally getting comfortable in the English style of play. Look for him to be an absolute force in the midfield by midseason. He'll be the catalyst for the Arsenal attack, an attack that's fairly formidable. Baptista looked good in his 20 minutes, striking one bullet just wide. My only contention with having The Beast come in for the final 20 minutes of each match is that Theo the Lion has yet to see action since Baptista's arrival. And we all know how I dig Theo the Lion. Roar!

Last weekend's win is especially important because it leaves us just eight points behind ManU with one less game played. A draw (or worse, a defeat) would've left us behind by double digits. It's odd too that most of us would've settled for a draw with 10 minutes to play in the match. We (John and I) were all hoping for a win, but certainly okay with a draw. And then it happened: Christiano Ronaldo took a dive (NO!) that wasn't called, we took the ball, Adebayor slipped through and the rest is history. Goal. 1-0. VICTORY!!

The importance lies in the fact that three of our next four Premiership matches come against the recently promoted: Sheffield United, Watford, and Reading. This stretch is a real chance to bring home some points and move up the tables before our mid-November matchup with Liverpool.

I leave you with this:

Wanker.

Half-time

2006-09-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

At the midway point of the Arsenal-ManU tie and I must admit I'm impressed. Arsenal have proven in the first half that they are certainly capable of the class of football ManU have been playing all season. Arsenal, playing without Henry, are attacking, striking, and generally creating the kind of chances that they haven't in the first Premiership matches of the year. A missed penalty by Gilberto may prove extra costly, but it's still inspiring to see Arsenal play the kind of football we've been yearning for.

If Jens Lehman can manage to keep himself on the pitch throughout (he's been dangerously close to seeing red a few times already), we've got a chance. Despite his antics, Lehman played a beautiful first half, saving the best Christiano Ronaldo had to offer a few times over.

Second half about to start. This, THIS is what we've been wishing for. Time to watch the meteoric rise up the tables.

This week

2006-09-13T12:15:00.000-07:00

We play Hamburg in the first of the Champions League group matches today. Henry is sitting out, no doubt saving himself for the Premiership draw this weekend. The game will not be televised on your regular cable package, but we should win the game (seems I write that a lot, eh?).

The real excitement (for me, at least) is this Sunday. 8 AM, Fox Soccer Channel. Arsenal take on league leaders Manchester United (Chelsea and Liverpool also play Sunday). This weekend's game should be exciting and would be crucial if we could come away with points. Hopefully the post-Oklahoma hangovers aren't too bad.

This week's game

2006-09-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

The Arsenal/Boro game will be shown on Fox Soccer Channel this Saturday at 7 AM. It'll be nice to roll out of bed (probably with hangovers) and watch the debuts of Gallas and The Beast. It goes without saying that Arsenal need a win.

Shake it up a bit

2006-09-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Well, Ashley Cole is out. So is Reyes. Gallas is in. What does this all mean? I guess we'll see in the next premiership game, but that won't come until the ninth of September because of a break for international play.

Some commentators seem optimistic because they say with the possible transfer of Cole and Reyes hanging over the team, it was difficult for them to find their rythym. We'll see. I sure hope so.

The only thing that is for sure is that the three games we've played so far have ranged from lackluster to downright bad with only brief, usually unfinished glimpes of the brilliant play Aresenal fans in England have come to expect.

Maybe Tom is just bad luck. Who knows.

Today = Bad

2006-08-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

So today wasn't good. As Steve eluded to in his comment earlier, Arsenal lost this morning. To fucking Man City. It seemed the Gunners were content to let countless chances pass them by in search of the perfect goal. All while Man City were more than content to score on a lame penalty and then bunker in on D. I don't know what's going on with Wenger's boys, but he'd better right the ship soon.

Today's game was frustrating. Extremely. I, personally, don't like to swear that much before noon. But the bloody Gunners left me no choice. Theo the Lion seemed the only player not scared to shoot the fucking ball. The announcers pointed out, over and over, that the Gunners just needed to "put a foot through the ball." Henry had chances. Everybody had chances. And nobody took them.

Man City? They had one chance. And they took it. A penalty is a shitty way to lose. But we should've managed more than one goal against the Blues. It shouldn't have mattered.

We find ourselves in 17th place, off to our worst start since the initial year of the Premiership. Not good folks. Not good.

In other news ...

2006-08-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Champions League group draws were announced yesterday. The Gunners find themselves the favorites in Group G. The draw? FC Porto, CSKA Moscow, and Hamburg (read: the best team from Portugal, the best team from Russia, and the second-best team from Germany). Not a bad draw at all. Wenger has come out saying he thinks the draw will be challenging. Our boy Jens, on the other hand, has already said he thinks we can advance.

Other interesting tidbit: Chelsea and Barcelona were given the same group assignment, meaning they'll face each other in the competition for the third year in a row. Ronaldinho has come out saying he's glad to have drawn Chelsea. Wonder if he's already played this out in FIFA and knows something we don't.

For those wondering, the Champions League takes on a very World Cup-esque feel from here on out: groups of four with two advancing from each to knockout rounds.

Posting at last: A good week.

2006-08-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

This week was a good week for the Gunners and, in turn, those of us in the PacNW that have chosen to follow this team. A win last Saturday would have changed the adjective from good to something different, better (great, maybe?).

The Aston Villa game was a bit of a disappointment for me. It was fun to get together for the initial match. The game was a good watch. But the game was also entirely frustrating. How could we possibly dominate so much and find ourselves on the ropes with 10 minutes to go? It seemed as if Arsenal had the skill to win the match, but lacked the killer instinct to just slam home a goal or two (my old coach would despise my description of slamming home a goal, I can hear him yelling at me now).

But let's be honest: it was opening weekend, against a weaker team, in a brand new stadium. What am I missing? I realize that Villa oft had all 11 players behind the ball and bunkered in on defence, but we're motherfuckin' Arsenal. We score goals!

We need to take care of the home draws with teams like Villa if we want any shot of competing with John Terry's gang.

Luckily for us, Boro came through huge mid-week. With a win this weekend, we can find ourselves with 4 points, ahead of Chelsea. We'd still sit behind ManU and (at worst) tied with Liverpool. We need to win the away fixture tomorrow. Period.

The DIX-Aresnal Elizabethan Ballad Drinking Song"

2006-08-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

The "DIX-Aresnal Elizabethan Ballad Drinking Song" is complete, but I can't get the upload to work at the moment.

If anyone knows someplace better than myspace to host the thing, please inform me.

Gunners Victory!

2006-08-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

Arsenal beat Dinamo Zagreb 2-1, with two late goals in the 77th and 90th minutes. Talk about last minute plays - literally.

"Arsenal may have secured their place in the group stages of the Champions League but Arsene Wenger knows it will take many more much-improved displays if his men are to repeat last season's European heroics over the course of the competition." -ESPN Soccernet.

Nailbiter

2006-08-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

The bad news: Arsenal is down 0-1 in the 56th minute right now. The good news: they are up 3-1 on aggregate, so if as long as we don't drop another goal, we'll be ok.

I have to go back to work in a bit, so I'll try to be checking from the computer there!

Bring Arsenal home this week

2006-08-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

Arsenal in your living room this week:

English Premier League: Sat. at Manchester City. Fox Soccer Channel, 9:15 a.m. Set your DVRs. Chris and Beth, see you at my place? I can pick up the U-Haul before hand, we can watch the game, then move my shit? Sound good? Free beer!

UEFA Champions Leage: Wed. vs. Dimano Zagreb from Emirates Stadium. As far as I can tell, it is not on North American TV. It might be on Setanta, but I'm confused about that. I'll try to sort it out. Either way, it is during the middle of a weekday and, if available, only at a bar. Translation: nobody will probably see this game.

On a side note, GolTV has a show called Arsenal TV that as far as I can tell is 3 straight hours at a time about Arsenal. Alas, I don't have GolTV, nor do I speak Spanish all that well, but I'll work on at least one of those.

I love you all. Know that.

David Hirsley's Two Pence

2006-08-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen Once In A Lifetime yet, but the executive editor of HarperCollins Publishers David Hirshey is supposed to be in it, playing himself with reasonable accuracy. He has also recently published "The Thinking Fan's Guide To The World Cup." In other words, he's an all around whoop-de-do guy.

Today, in his weekly soccer column for Deadspin, he writes mostly about the Gunners -- and it isn't pretty:

What else can an Arsenal fan do after the soul-crushing performances that the Blues and Reds turned in on the Prem's opening weekend while our beloved Gooners gave us a shit-ass debut against a Villa team that we tore apart 5-0 last season? If, as they say, a tie is like kissing your sister, a 1-1 tie against Villa is like having your sister put a ball gag in your mouth and drag you around by a studded leather dog collar.

Er. Yikes.

Gunners Opening Day

2006-08-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

Good times, everybody.

The First Game

2006-08-19T15:05:00.000-07:00

"I gave a dollar to a hobo last night. I really wish I had that dollar, now," I said, mostly to myself.

I was sitting with the majority of the DiX-Arsenal crew, meaning Eric "E.T." Taylor, Beth "Slaterade" Slater, Tom "Hubka" Hubka, and John "Not Relevant Enough to Deserve His Own Wikipedia Page" Tierney at the Thirsty Lion Pub. The Thirsty Lion Pub's proprietor, a big but mousey fellow dressed entirely in black, had recently taken everyone's food order, no more than five minutes beforehand. Unlike our intended destination for early-morning ELP (and beer) consumption, Kell's, a destination, I might add, that had assured Eric over the phone on numerous occasions that it was to open at 6:15 AM on Saturday, August 19th, 2006 - an assertion, it became apparent, that was unsupported by fact - the Thirsty Lion Pub was open, but unprepared to serve food or drink to the handful of patrons besides ourselves. We, ourselves, are not hopeless drunks, and we recognized no hopeless drunks among our company. They were here to watch some English Premier League soccer. So were we, I assume. I can do little more than speculate to the motives of everyone in attendance - one of us might have been thinking of the best way one could teach an elephant to jump.

The elephant, you know, is the only land mammal that cannot jump. No matter how much effort and intellect one invests into an elephant, it still will not jump. It is just impossible.

Hubka was the first to comment on my comment about the hobo. I forget exactly what he said - but, for the sake of argument, let us pretend he said:

"Chris, you know those page-a-day calendars? Someone should record some of the things you say, all of these bizarre two-sentence statements, and sell that as a page-a-day calendar."

As I contemplated this, fantasizing about the untold riches such a wonderful idea could bring me, Aston Villa scored the first goal of the match on a set play, which I remember as a corner kick headed into the high left side of the goalbox. It was a wonderful play, really. A perfect corner and a flawless header. Terrible, this: Aston Villa had scored the first goal of the match, in the early moments of the second half.

This is right and not right, this goal. Arsenal had dominated possession time, pressed the attack early and often, seen half a dozen scoring opportunities fizzle away with nothing to show for the effort. Almost like a cat playing with a dying bird, Arsenal seemed more interested in showmanship than in scoring, in securing the kill. Not that the showmanship was unwelcome -- Thierry Henry's deft moonwalk earlier (or later, I can't remember) in the game not only flummoxed Aston Villa's defenders into overcommitting, it was also just a stunning bit of soccer-as-dance, so graceful and effortless it might have been a dream. But Arsenal just could not finish, and their defenders sometimes seemed more interested in watching than playing. Aston Villa fell into a good situation and then they took advantage of it.

The time came; our orders arrived. I chose not to order any food, on account of my recent charity, but everyone else got a little something: Eric and John, the "Breakfast Special," Tom, three scrambled eggs, and Beth -- I believe she got hot chocolate. She was seated in such a way that her food was outside my line of sight. I sipped my free coffee, returning some attention to the television above.

The entire match feels eerily like a half-remembered childhood memory, now. Just a few hours later, some of the particulars have bled and smeared into other memories, of other matches, like a watercolor painting. I guess this is because I slept a mere two hours on Friday night. After I made it home from the Portland Timbers game (Timbers 3-0 Puerto Rico, and an own goal, to boot!) a few minutes after midnight, I felt compelled to compose both a letter to two ex-girlfriends and a "DiX-Arsenal" acoustic guitar theme song for everyone's enjoyment. I wrapped up the letters around 3:30, took a shower, and, hoping the rather emotional process ignited by their composition would transfer over to my songwriting, began to write a little ditty. It went like this:

"Arsenal. Arsenal. Arsenal. Hmmm."

I think it is self-evident that my intention did not translate too well into action, in this case.

I set my alarm for 6:00 AM and hoped to get nothing more than a little light sleep. Here, my intention did translate into action, very well, because I awoke to the sounds of my cellular phone's alarm - which is a hellish rendition of "The Four Seasons," played too loudly on one weezy synth, and therefore the most abrasive and annoying ring I have at my disposal - and stayed awake until John called, a few minutes later.

Everything has been a bit hallucinatory since then. Not to imply that I feel stoned - au contraire! - I feel the formidable sort of tunnel vision that accompanies jet lag. I would give up any chance to future happiness for a cot and a blanket, now - oh, I get ahead of myself. Back to the Thirsty Lion.

I ate a few of Hubka's scrambled eggs, which he was considerate enough to offer me, and lazily focused my attention towards the soccer match in London. I noticed right then that the pitch has an odd division near the center -- half of the pitch in checkerboard squares, the other in uniform vertical lines. I thought of no good reason for this at the time, and I still can't think of any good reason, now. It is not often that, in the middle of the field, any soccer player could lose their baring so completely that said player turns to the landscaping for reference. Actually, the aforementioned scenario occurs less often than not often. It never occurs. That extra landscaping seemed like a lot of work, and for little reward.

Arsenal began to press forward, and to press forward some more. No attack seemed complete without around 200 unnecessary passes. I was frustrated, and my companions were frustrated. This is our team, the team all of us has chosen to love, regardless. Arsenal should become like the O's are to Eric, like the Yankees are to John, and like some sort of loving reversal of my undying hatred for the Fightin' Irish. And, so far, Arsenal hasn't done much to make me feel endearing emotions towards them. The Henry play -- amazing. The numerous Emmanuel Adebayor possessions, all of which end in dumb-as-hell turnovers? Well, that is amazing, too. Not the good kind of amazing, but still. Remarkable.

There were only 17 minutes remaining in the game when Theo Walcott, the young stud footballer who flamed out so spectacularly at the World Cup, entered the game as a substitute. I had begun to write this game off; Arsenal's players weren't ready, the managers were more interested in intricate offensive designs - maybe they spelled out something one could only see from the air? - than in winning, the Villa defense had somehow held together, and most ominously, some remarkable luck seemed to have befallen Aston Villa. No matter how tactical, how skillful, our Arsenal footballers footballed, the defense would luck out, with passes missing their mark by millimeters and shots carrying just a micron too far.

This Theo Walcott kid changed everything. I love him, now. I want to put pictures of him in my binders and encircle his face with little sticker hearts. His assist to Giberto saved the game, even if it was a bit of a fluke. Actually, that makes me love him more; Walcott is amazing even when he screws up.

Soon, the game is over, Kells is open, beer is drunk, and exhaustion is felt by at least one member of the DiX-Arsenal crew. That member being me. Another match is on at Kells. I tuned it out and talked about forgotten high school companions and the upcoming Pay-Per-View battle royal between Mao Zedong and the country of Laos. I fell asleep, briefly, in the car trip from Chinatown to Lake Oswego, and I found comfort in the chicken-soup music of Death Cab for Cutie.

Overall, a fine morning outing, in this writer's estimation.

News flash

2006-08-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

Latest news on Reyes from the BBC.

Dude, and Thierry Henry is "questionable" for Saturday's game because of fatigue. He played a full game with France yesterday and may not play on Saturday. Lame.

Also Ashley Cole is out with an injury.

Deeper reading

2006-08-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

Among the things available at Amazon.com about the Arsenal FC:

REQUIRED READING:

Fever Pitch, Nick Hornby.

OPTIONAL:

Rebels for the Cause: The Alternative History of the Arsenal Football Club, John Spurling.

Highbury: The Story of Arsenal at Highbury, John Spurling.

FILM CLUB:

Fever Pitch, directed by David Evans.
(aka NOT the film about the Boston Red Sox with Jimmy Fallon in it.)

EASY LISTENING:

"We Love You Arsenal" by Arsenal FC.
-18 tracks to get you pumped for a match.

EDUCATIONAL (But not involving Arsenal):

The Soccer War, Ryszard Kapuscinski
-"Journalism at its most incisive, these phosphorescent dispatches from the front investigate Third World wars of 1958-1976, probing the forces of political repression and societies stagnating or in the throes of change. Like a contemporary Conrad footloose in Africa, Polish reporter Kapuscinski ( Shah of Shahs ) evokes a continent coping with a colonialist legacy, torn between dictatorships, anarchy and struggles for liberation. He writes of the murder of Congo prime minister Patrice Lumumba, the mid-1960s Nigerian civil war which devastated the Yorubas, and Algeria's struggle to emerge from France's shadow. Drawing on his five-year stint in Latin America, he discusses torture in Guatemala and the 100-hour war between Honduras and El Salvador, triggered by a soccer contest in 1969, which left 6000 dead and many villages destroyed. More recent pieces in this powerful, impressive memoir deal with Turkey's invasion of northern Cyprus, Palestinian guerrillas and the internecine 1976 border dispute between Ethiopia and Somalia."

Hook it up

2006-08-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

As I previously mentioned, one of the benefits of picking Arsenal is that they are a Nike team. And for thoes knuckleheads who might not have noticed, Nike's International Hyper Global Mega Super Headquarters is like 40 feet from most of our houses. This means many of us have hook-ups to the glory that is the Nike Employee store. So what am I getting at, you ask? Why this half-coherent rant leading up to a proclamation that surely will not blow my mind? I'm here to tell you brand-spankin'-new Aresenal jerseys complete with Fly Emirates logo are available at Nike for only $28. So if you have a connection there and want one, hook it up. If not, let me know and I'll see what I can work.

As of Monday 8/14, they only had medium, large and XL in stock.

Someday...we will be there

2006-08-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

Set your alarm clock

2006-08-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

Arsenal vs. Aston Villa.

Live

Kells Irish Pub

Saturday, Aug. 19th

6:30 am

One more thing

2006-08-13T10:59:00.000-07:00

A word of warning: Be careful when navigating to soccer websites. If you are hoping to watch a Premiership game like it is live on American TV, don't navigate to soccer websites beforehand because you run the risk of having the game spoiled. Such just happened to me with the Premiership opener between Chelsea and Liverpool which isn't airing on FSC until this evening. I won't give it away, but be forewarned.

Goooooollllllll!!!!!!!

2006-08-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

I was going to simply write about all the sick soccer on TV right now, but as they say in the news biz, we have a little late breaking news, so I'm changing my lead story.

I'm watching a replay of the NY Red Bulls vs. Barca game right now and the Red Bulls just scored on Barca. Like reruns, if I haven't seen it, it's new to me, so I was screaming GOOOOLLLLLL in my living room. If you didn't see it yourself, Ronahldinho screwed up and got the ball stolen from him on defense to set up a great pass and a shot that deflected off the goalie across the goal for an easy tap in. Equalized the game up nicely in the 37th minute.

Back to my original point, there is much other good soccer on as well. Telemundo has Champions League play between InterMilan and Red Star Belgrade and Univision is playing Mexican league.

Later on Fox Soccer there is Argentine league, the USL finals (no Timbers, unfortunately, a replay of Real Salt Lake vs. Real Madrid and of course Chelsea vs. Liverpool.

Holy shit, they just read the Barca roster, and it sounds like they just went in and picked up all of Juve and most of Serie A. They have 11 World Cup players on their team.

Wow, NY almost just socred again and probably got fouled in the box on the rebound.

Where to Watch

2006-08-11T14:28:00.000-07:00

The question came up last night: where to find Premier League soccer in a country that loves Monday Night Football more? And lo and behold, Fox Sports was just as concerned as we were. So, hopefully getting drunk and watching soccer next Saturday won't be a problem.

HAS FOX SOCCER CHANNEL:

The Thirsty Lion Pub
71 SW 2nd Ave.
Portland
503-222-2155

PROBABLY A SAFE BET:

Kell's Irish Restaurant and Pub
112 SW Second
Portland
503-227-4057

The Bullpen
1730 SW Taylor St.
Portland
503-222-3063

Cheerful Tortoise
1939 SW 6th
Portland
503-224-3377

Welcome to....

2006-08-11T13:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not really sure what you're welcome to, yet. What is it like to be a Premier League soccer fan? What's the slang? What goes down in the 78th minute when you and your fellow Arsenal fans are sauced and your team scores a goal? These and other questions are about to be answered, as DIX house membes and affiliates gather to cheer the Arsenal Gunners from the pubs of the Pacific Northwest.

Why Arsenal? If your name is Steve Hadley, you've been shaking your head and asking yourself that question for about a week now. The process was long and arduous, and roundly democratic, with a small margin of victory for the team at Emirates Stadium. Out of twenty teams, each of us analyzed and rationalized and pared it down to about 6: Bolton, Liverpool, Chelsea, Everton, Tottenham and Arsenal. And in the end, Arsenal won. Sorry Gary Speed.

Arsenal have a monster of a player in Theirry Henry. "If I can drink a beer everytime that Thierry Henry scores a ridiculous goal, I will be a happy man," says John Tierney. "What's not to love about this guy? He was the EPL top scorer last year and he is just an overall nice guy appearing in a series of PSAs trying to stomp out racism in English soccer. And he's pretty handsome too. And French, but the good kind of French (a.k.a. the kind who speaks English without bitching and moaning first.)"

The team has other killer players: Theo Walcott, Tomas Rosick, Jens Lehmann and Ashley Cole. The team will be keeping Cole, no thanks to Chelsea. Quite a scare for fans and Theirry Henry.

"Arsenal have the kind of status that they won't be in danger of relegation in the near future," says Eric Taylor. "They have the kind of money that they won't be selling off our favorite players with the kind of regularity that a smaller club may do so. They're good, but not too good. Next year will certainly be a battle for them, which could be fun to cheer. They've got a new (beautiful) stadium and cool uniforms."

And as Eric put it, "Cheering for Arsenal somehow makes me think we can blare "London Calling" to and from the bar, singing along while drunk, to add to the whole experience."

Who knows, perhaps someday we'll all be singing "London Calling" loud and drunk on the Tube on the way to Emirates Stadium...